Don't Let Me Go
by Missy Tea
Summary: Song fic, season 5 spoilers. Charles and Elsie's thoughts afterwards.


**Hello Downtoners! Long time, no see! To be honest I am still getting over that Christmas special! I went crazy in my living room and mom thought I'd gone insane. Anyway, I was listening to this song while doing my chores and this popped into my head so I wrote it down. **

**Song is "Let Me Go" By Avril Lavigne with Chad Kroeger. **

**I don't own the song or any of the characters created by the wonderful Mr Fellowes. **

**(O)**

**Love that once hung on the wall**

**Used to mean something, but now it means nothing**

**The echoes are gone in the hall**

**But I still remember, the pain of December**

He's always thought that Alice was his one true love. Almost relished in the drama of the way their love affair had ended, once a showman always a showman he supposed. Coming home on a cold december night to find her with another man- the man he thought was his best friend. It had been the final straw and that evening he had packed his bags and left, returning home with all his worldly possessions neatly packed into a small bag, and his tail tucked between his legs. It was time to grow up and to face the world like a man should, not like a boy who had always seen the world through rose coloured glasses. Now, standing before the woman who had just accepted his marriage proposal thirty years later, he knew that if she walked away it would be ten times - Even a hundred times- the pain he'd felt on that december night and no amount of silver picture frames hanging on the wall would ever fill the gap Elsie Hughes could leave behind.

**Oh, there isn't one thing left you could say**

**I'm sorry it's too late**

Even though Alice was dead, he knew that if she were to walk into the room this very second he wouldn't batt an eye. He would continue to lovingly look at his fiance, while the tears slipped down both their cheeks because finally; There were no more barriers.

**I'm breaking free from these memories**

**Gotta let it go, just let it go**

**I've said goodbye**

**Set it all on fire**

**Gotta let it go, just let it go**

They were free to love one another for who they truly were. No more secrets, no more shame. Just two hearts finally connected

**You came back to find I was gone**

**And that place is empty,**

**Like the hole that was left in me**

**Like we were nothing at all**

**It's not what you meant to me**

**Thought we were meant to be**

There had been times in the past when she had regretted it. Leaving him, to take a job at Downton all because of one careless comment. It wasn't as though Joe didn't care for her and her family. He cared a great deal. But her mother was getting weaker by the day, less and less able to properly care for her sister and Elsie was worried. The letter telling her she had got the job arrived in the post that morning and she had hurried out into the fields with it in her apron pocket to tell Joe. He had been generally happy for her, even though they both knew that she wouldn't be accepting

"We'll keep the farm running together" he had said "just you and I."

"And Becky" she had added. It was the next comment that had destroyed everything

"What about Becky?" He asked. That was it. Her sister was the reason she had applied for the job in the first place -when she wasn't sure what Joe intended to do about them- so that when her mother died there would be someone to look after her. But now to hear that he hadn't even factored her sister into his life plan cut her too the bone. When he came in for his tea that afternoon she had already packed, left a letter explaining that the engagement was over, kissed her family goodbye and had left. It wasn't as though she didn't love him. Leaving him had left her broken hearted. But she knew now that it was never meant be.

**Oh, there isn't one thing left you could say**

**I'm sorry it's too late**

He had written to her fifteen years later, apologizing once again for his behavior and begging to see her. She had agreed and they'd had dinner together before wandering around the fair where he proposed again. She was tempted to say yes, to go home and bring Becky back to the farm. But she had already fallen in love with someone else. The man who had just proposed to her in that endearing, bumbling way that he had.

**I'm breaking free from these memories**

**Gotta let it go, just let it go**

**I've said goodbye**

**Set it all on fire**

**Gotta let it go, just let it go**

Because she loved him. Despite his flaws and the past he was so ashamed of. Because he loved her. Despite the lies she'd been forced to tell him in the past and despite that fact that she had a sister who was not quite right in the head.

**I let it go and now I know**

**A brand new life is down this road**

**And when it's right, you always know**

**So this time I won't let go**

And neither of them were planning on running away from one another any time soon

**There's only one thing left here to say**

**Love's never too late**

Their two hearts were finally in alignment and nothing would ever pull them apart. They were soul mates through and through.

**I've broken free from those memories**

**I've let it go, I've let it go**

**And two goodbyes led to this new life**

**Don't let me go, don't let me go**

Charles Carson pulled her into his arms and rested his cheek against her hair. She could feel him shaking slightly as he tried to keep his emotions in check

"Don't let me go" she whispered and his kissed the top of her head

**Don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go, don't let me go**

"I won't ever let you go" he whispered in reply

**Won't let you go, don't let me go**

**I hope that wasn't too awful. Please be kind and leave a review. Hugs to all who do! **


End file.
